The Tricks and Treats

We have all heard of the numerous "tricks" and "treats" to pull on your partner during or directly after sex. This is just the list that everyone has been waiting for.

Note: any girl is going to be extrememly pissed at you for doing these.

Old School....

Teabag

This is when a man inserts his nuts into the mouth of another (of either gender), usually while they are sleeping(or tied up, whatever floats your boat). This can either be a situation of laughter or of excruciating pain, depending on whether the victim is a biter.

Note: If your girl isn't into this, she will most likley bite you, just a heads up.

The Abe Lincoln

After shaving your pubes, collect them into a ball and set aside. The next time you plan to receive a blowjob, keep them bunched in your hand. When you are about to orgasm, pull out and cum all over your partners chin, cheeks, upper lip, etc. Then quickly peg her in the face (where you just came) with the ball of pubes, leaving a pubic hair beard reminiscent of Abraham Lincoln.

The Strawberry Shortcake

While a girl is giving you head pull out and just before you cum, punch her in the face; then cum on her face. This results in a strawberry shortcake appearance--hence the name.

The Alaskan Pipeline

(a.k.a. Northeastern Frozen Pipeline or The Alaskan Dildo) This old school bad ass move is when you proceed to take a shit in a condom(preferably prelubricated). Then freeze that bad mother and start having sex with your girl in the kitchen. As you fuck her reach into the freezer grab your frozen turd and shove it up her ass. If the shit is not in a condom you may want to lube her up before hand since the frost sometimes makes the blade stick, which, like ripping your tounge from an icy pole can be painful. So depending on how you feel about the tramp bring some KY.

Logans random commentary: If this passage arroused you, what the fuck is wrong with you?

The Angry (or Creamy) Pirate

When a man is receiving head while standing and his partner on their knees. Just before he ejaculates in his partners mouth, he pulls out and busts a nut in his partners eye. This will cause the hoe to shut the eye with the semen in it. When the partner jumps up in anger, the man kicks his partner in the shin, causing the partner to jump up and down holding the kicked leg and screaming "ARRRGHH!" in pain. If you are STILL not satisfied with her pirate impression, simply give her a nice jab to the stomach and she'll be in pain for hours.

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The Dutch Oven

Whilst lying in bed, let go a good fart and quickly pull the cover over your partners head.

Snowball

Finally, one for the women. Give your man head and let him cum in your mouth, but don't swallow (or only enough that he can't tell). Then start to make out with him, spitting his own cum in his mouth.

Ian's random commentary: Can't say I haven't done this before..

comment made by lee: i have never had sex or a girlfriend an i read this page an mastubated an cumed in my hand an then licked it an swallowed it an it was really nice i now do it wenever i masterbate so try it all you boys

Gorilla Mask

A variant of the Abraham Lincoln. After making love to a girl, doggie style; when about to ejaculate, pull out and turkeyslap your woman in the face, unleashing your load all over her face. Then, using a batch of pre shaved pubes, smear them all over her face, giving her the appearance of a gorilla. This will work better if more than one man in engaged in the act, as there will be more semen to spread across her face.

New School

The Tranny Suprise

a male dressed as a girl gets a date or is going to a place to have sex with a male. dont tell the male your not a girl. so when you are making out an undressing turn the bloke around an drop your pants an put your penis in there ass hole an shout suprise an they will sure be suprised ( may cause victim to someway hurt whoever is doing this trick )

Angry Dragon

this is when your are having a blow job and just before you cum you push her head onto your cock making her gag into resulting in the cough and your cum flowing out both her nostrills making her look like a dragon and after playing this sex prank you can be certin she will be an angry one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I done this to my girlfriend an she went mental an she really did look like an angry dragon but then she got me back with a snowball an it tasted rare

The Rodeo

While you are fucking a girl in the ass you grab her hand and tell her you have AIDS then she will squirm like a bull in the rodeo and you must keep it in as long as you can. OR Knowing that you are going to have relations with your woman that night, you have your friends get to your house early and hide in the closet. While doing you girl doggy style you grab her by the hair. your friends then jump out of the closet and scream rodeo. Try to hold on for 8 seconds and dear life.

Comment... By A Woman: This is also to crude to actually do and WILL piss a woman off to no end.

Note: Understand that if she doesn't think this (or any joke taking place when your cock is in her mouth) is particularly funny, she will probably bite you. Possibly causing permanent damage.

Dick Explosion

For all girls looking for a way to get back at your boyfriend for sex pranks you have to pull the dick explosion. This may cause severe injury to you but can be most satisfying. Fainting may occur, side effects are ass trauma and swollen butt hole. First force him to fuck the anal. Then stock up on beans and get a killer fart loaded up and release. This will be extremely painful for your partner and his dick can technically. Bruising and pain can also occur, and he could have his dick implode which is rare but possible. Dangerous but pleasurable if you need to get back at the boyfriend. His dick will never see the vagina again.

The Old Switcheroo (or The Magician)

Before sexual intercourse, have a trusted friend hide in a closet. Once he is in position proceed to have sex with your partner doggy-style, and be sure that she is facing an uncovered window. After a few minutes of intercourse, pull out and have your friend take over. From there, you quietly exit the house and knock on the window. Hilarity will ensue. Also refer to "Houdini".

The "Philly" Phake-out (or the Harry Houdini)

First convince your girl friend, or partner to have anal intercoarse with you. Now that your having sex, right before you cum, pull out your dick (without a condom on it) and spit on the girls back. She will think you came on her back and turn around. Right as she turns around bust a nut directly into her face.

The Spiderman

While having sex in any position, just as you are about to cum, pull out, bust into your hand and then flick it into your partners face shouting "GO WEB GO!".

Comment from a girl: Ahah, this actually is pretty funny. xD Just make sure you dont flick it in her eye xP

The Ambush Paddington

This maneuver must be performed in the bedroom of a girl who has at least one stuffed animal. Right before you splooge, grab a stuffed animal (preferably her favorite) and blast it. It never saw it coming.

The Tony Danza

The Tony Danza is the act of, while intercourse, asking your female partner "Who's the Boss?" and when she responds "You are!", you punch her in the face and say "Wrong bitch! Tony Danza is the boss!".

If your partner has the initial response of "Tony Danza!" when asked who the Boss is, it is recommended to slap her in the face and tell her that You are in fact the boss.

The Philadelphia Meat Hook

While getting a blowjob make your partner get on all fours and then take your index and middle fingers and stick them in your partners ass like a hook and lift them. Congratulations you just performed the Philadelphia Meat Hook.

Note Understand that if she doesn't think this (or any joke taking place when your cock is in her mouth) is particularly funny, she will probably bite you. Possibly causing permanent damage.

The pokemon

The pokemon is when you are fucking a girl from behind and right before you finish you throw a tennis ball at her. After she turns around proceed to cum in her face and yell "Go (your favorite pokemons name)!"

The Gerald Dollard

Well first, you start out by taking your fist and putting it in a well lubed glove and proceed with having intercourse with your partner. She has to be in doggie position on all fours for this one. While your fucking her from behind, pull that hand out that glove then pull out and punch your fist up into her vagina... or better yet, butt hole.yank that bad boy out hard and watch her bleed... do not do this one a girlfriend/wife. You will never see vagina again.

Comment from Mandii: This is just completley and totally fucked up. >:/

The Cleveland Steamer

Take a dump onto your partners chest.

You will NEVER see a vagina again if you do this.

The Chili Dog

A modification of the Cleveland steamer, this act takes it one step further by tit-fucking the girl afterwards.

The Snow Plow

Get your girl to have sex doggy style on the floor with a lot of objects lying around. In the middle of intercourse reach over and pull her arms out and hold them, then drive her around clearing a path like a snow plow. (Especially good if you give her a rug burn!)

The Florida Gator

While having sex doggy style grab her arms, and wrap your legs around hers and roll around like a gator. If you cum while you do this theres no way for her to escape it.

Alabama Hot Pocket

Before having intercourse run to the bathroom and rub icy hot over the ALREADY APPLIED CONDOM (very painful without a condom). Then stick it in her and sit back and enjoy the show.

Comment from Mandii: WTF? This stuff is dangerous, you idiots need to get your brain checked if you find this crap arousing or funny. :(

The Avalanche

While having intercourse or simply getting a blowjob, right before ejaculation you pull your dick out and cum all over the other person, then find a set of stairs and push them down them, making it a avalanche. ( Both peoples consent must be there before doing this, it may be painful ).

The Dirty Pelican

When having sex on the beach, pull your dick out and stick it in the sand, then reinsert into her vagina. Works best if you have a condom on, otherwise it might hurt someone.

The Red Sock

While having anal sex, in the midst of the initial action, a sharp punch is delivered to her stomach. In doing so, the rectum tightens so much, that when the penis is pulled out, the rectal innards are removed with it. This "inside-out" rectum is referred to as the "Red Sock". Try at home, but with consent - extremely painful, not to mention disgusting. WTF?! (Neither males nor females generally enjoy this)

The Red Scare

Ladies! If your boyfriend actually tried any of these, here is your revenge (though I think you should instead bite his cock off...). When you are on your period, don't tell him. Do what you can to temporarily stop the flow. A shower or a bath often helps with this. While you are wet and hot, let him eat you out (especially if he feels guilty). Soon enough, your blood will start again. Works best if you're standing or riding his face.

Mothers Day

on mothers day when your mum is sleeping go into her room have a wank an just before you cum open your mums mouth an cum into her mouth an then rub your ass up an down her face. what a mothers day present tht is

Breackfast In Bed

make a male/family member breackfast in bed but cum in the glass of milk and on the toast an spread it in with butter an put some mayyonase on the side an cum in it an mix together an watch them eat your own cum