Take a Girl's Virginity

For some it is a rare and precious artifact, for others it's an albatross that they can't wait to get rid of. However, regardless of how a girl looks at her virginity, she is going to notice when it's gone. She is also going to remember the person who took it for the rest of her life. This puts a pretty heavy burden on you, the man who wishes to take it from her. If you do it right, you will be remembered as the kind gentleman with whom she shared one of the most intimate moments of her life. Do it wrong and you will be the rough brute who robbed her of something special.

Note: For the purposes of this article it is going to be assumed that you are either this girl's boyfriend or really good friend. It will also be assumed that you care about her well being and want the best for her. This is not to imply that there is something wrong if you don't fit into any of these categories, you just won't get much out of the article. If you don't and you still take her virginity, depending on the kind of her own intentions about it you might also be causing her to end up feeling that she was given a kind of shallow, if not stale kind of experience and she'd better have waited to find someone who does care about her.

Find out how she wants it

Let's face it, even if this is your first time, guys don't put much planning into how they are going to lose their virginity. A guy's main concern is that they lose it, the details of how are kind of meaningless. Many girls have big elaborate dreams planned out for how it will happen. While it is not your job to make sure these dreams come true, you should at least find out what they are if you are planning on shaking this girl lose of her virginal coil. Does she picture losing it on her prom night? In a big open field under the stars? On the beach after a great dinner? Find out how important it is to her that things go this way.

This does not mean you have to honor her wish, but if you are intent on making sure this girl has a good first time of it, giving her plans some consideration is probably a good idea. Do you need to take her to the top of Mount Fiji while 10 Yehtis play trumpets (a boy can dream, can't he?)? No, of course not. But if she has some big elaborate dream that she is really attached to, then it is probably not a good idea to do the deed in the back seat of your Le Baron before going into a movie.

Why does it matter?

Everyone was a virgin once. Some still are.

This is a good question. It matters because if she has some great vision in her mind and you try and shag her in a flower bed outside her parents' house then she may be unprepared and wind up reacting unpleasantly to this. This could result in the end of your relationship if it upsets her too badly, so be sure to take your time and give at least some consideration for how she wants it to go. Odds are if you wait a week so that things can be the way she wants them the whole process will go over a lot smoother and she'll still sleep with you. Don't rush it, more than just her vagina could be hurting at the end of the night if you do.

Do you love her?

Ahh, the good old "L" word. Not lesbian, love you idiot! If you are thinking about taking this girl's virginity you should ask yourself the question of whether you love her or not. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to and it would be wrong for you to convince yourself that you do when in reality you do not. You should know your answer to this question before you do the deed for a couple of reasons.

Help Calm her nerves

One of the reasons to know the answer to this question is that if the answer is a yes, then you can use that to help calm her mind and reassure her. She is likely to be nervous beforehand, and whispering a sweet nothing into her ear before or while you're fornicating is likely to help her out. Do not however, under any circumstances, tell her you do if you really don't. This will only make things bad down the line.

She's probably going to ask

A lot of girls before they give it up for the first time want some kind of reassurance that they are doing the right thing. They are likely to derive the list of things they look at from pop culture and mainstream society. One of the big things that people always point to is that you should not lose your virginity to someone who you don't love and who doesn't love you. So if she asks, it would be good to have the answer already worked out in your mind so that there is no hesitation (if the answer is no, you might want to hesitate anyway, pretend to struggle with it a little before you tell her).

Let's Get Down to Business

So you have prepared and made sure that you are ready to do this. Well, there are a number of things that you should be interested in on the physical end.

Enter with Caution

Use birth control! Pregnancy is an all too common unintended consequence of intercourse. Unintended pregnancy has severe emotional and financial consequences for both people involved. As you are thinking about having sex with a virgin, you should assume she knows nothing about birth control, and you should know about birth control. Use condoms. Be smart. It's part of taking good care of her. And it's taking good care of yourself. Don't do it without protection.

If you don't remember from high school health class (or if you're in middle school and haven't gotten to high school health class yet) most girl's have a thin, pink, membrane a couple of millimeters inside the vaginal opening. You may or may not have felt it while fingering her (see how to finger a girl). There is a hole in the center so that things like a finger or a tampon can slip through it.

If her hymen is still intact then it will hurt a lot when you first slide into her. Also, her vagina has likely never taken anything the size and girth of your penis yet so it will still be like that new pair of blue jeans you just got. It will need to be stretched by the penis before it will stop hurting when she has sex.

For the above two reasons it is important that the first time you enter her you do it very slowly. Sex is not like a band-aid where if you just rip it off it doesn't hurt as much. If you just thrust into her as hard as you can, you will cause her a great deal of pain as you both rip through the hymen and force her vaginal walls to expand faster then they are ready to. A slow, gradual entry will still hurt because you have to "pop her cherry" (break the hymen) but at least you'll give her vagina time to expand so that it can receive you.

Make her good and wet

Remember the old axiom: The Wetter the Better.

If you read over the articles here at Wiki Afterdark you'll notice a fairly common theme, things are better when they are wetter. This is why you need to make sure that she is plenty wet when you make your first attempt at deflowering her. This can be done in a number of ways, from making out, kissing her on the neck/breast/thigh, astroglide, fingering her clit or even eating her out for a little while. Regardless of what it takes, just make sure her body is producing plenty of lubrication to make this a fun ride.

Be Reassuring

Odds are that she is going to be crazy nervous before you start. Make sure that you understand this and treat her accordingly. As you start to undress her, be sure that you tell her how beautiful she is, how happy she makes you, and if you mean it, how much you love her. This will help calm her mind, which in turn makes for a better experience overall.

Think of how you want to be described when it's all said and done, reassuring is one of the common cliche adjectives that is often used to describe the boyfriend during a girl's first time. Make her feel safe, secure and beautiful and you are pretty much guaranteed to have a good experience.

You Might Also be interested in...

• How to Make Love to a Virgin
• Finger a Girl