Hobbit porn

Hobbit porn really is all the rage for LOTR (Lord of the Rings) fetishists out there that revel in hairy feet being shoved up hairy anuses (We call this the frodo foot job), as well as naked hobbit trampoline bungee fights. Hobbit porn is a small minority that is growing with pride every single day. Hobbit fetishists of varying intelligence and sanity have been known to print t-shirts with the caption "Frodo rocked my middle earth", "Balrog tru lubz" and "Sauron sucks- no, seriously!", wearing them out as labels as if to tell the world: "I get off on Gandalfs staff but I'm still beautiful!"

Hobbit porn can be divided into several categories:

Strictly hobbit porn
Hobbit and man porn
Anything goes.

Strictly hobbit porn

Included in the sub-genre of Strictly hobbit porn is the tried and trusted "prancing pony"- cock whipping, "Sauron stinger"- the satisfying DIY hobbit enema, and "Bag End," the act of Hobbit balls being licked...with fire! And this is just the beginning.
Hobbit fetishists have been known to kidnap midgets and implant hair on their feet and breasts to re-enact hobbit porn, also masking the horror and constant shame that hobbits are so hard to find these days, in a world of whirlwind technology and human porn (how boring.)
Hobbit porn displays hobbits ONLY in the act of sexual satiation/pleasure. A recent Sam and Frodo sextape was leaked to the public and hobbit fetishists everywhere creamed themselves until they almost drowned in said cream. The sextape is no longer circulating, but involved the following:
LOTR background music playing (Triumphant theme of Khazud-dum the epitome of cumming music), Sam naked and draped in chains and butter, and Frodo with a sadistic grin on his face and the ring of doom making for an impressive cock ring. The following dialogue was documented:
Frodo: "Whos the master of the ring, Sam, who is the master now!"
Sam: "You, Mr Frodo, you!"
Frodo: "Yes, thats right, my little BITCH!". The prancing pony, also known as cock whipping subsequently followed this.
Sam was then heard to utter: "Thank you Mr Frodo Sir, May I have another?"

Hobbit and Man porn

Another popular category is hobbit/man porn. Though hobbits are on the decrease in these modern time and many men resort to extreme measures, such as abducting midgets and roleplaying in order to get their fix.

Should you wish to participate in hobbit/man porn, here are some handy hints.
• Try to find a hobbit about 3ft tall. some prefer shorter, but in for purists 3ft is the minimum.
• Buy yourself a good quality lube, at least 6 tubes. This is especially important if you plan on inserting the hobbit into any part of your anatomy. Hobbits are large and need to be lubed well.
• Talk to your hobbit. They're just like little people, with personalities and everything!
• If you can't find a hobbit of your own, but still wish to experience the wonderful world of hobbit porn, check out your local library for such great titles as:
- Hobbits Gone Wild I, II, and III
- Man vs Hobbit
- Elf, Man, and Two Smokin' Hobbits