Have Sex in the Missionary Position

From WikiAfterDark
Jump to: navigation, search

What is it

When you think of sex, odds are you might be one of many people thinking of the missionary position. While for some, it may not be considered as enjoyable as some of the advanced sexual positions, such as Doggy Style or the Butterfly it can certainly have its advantages. The biggest of these is that due to the orientation of the bodies, it can allow for a very intimate sexual experience. It is very easy for one partner to look the other in the eye, to kiss the other one, etc. As a result and because it is the most commonly thought of position, this is how a great number of people lose their virginity and studies have shown it is also the most widely used position.

This position can also be more accessible to females with disabilities and, or physical limitations in their leg or body movement, however, if you do have a disability or physical limitation and want to try this position, please consult your doctor or medical professional, should you have any concerns for injury or comfort while using this position.

It can be the opinion of some to find the missionary position to be boring. This is only based on the individual perception of the person and should in no way, determine your perception or choices because many people also enjoy this position. As in all aspects of sexual postures, the enjoyment or lack of enjoyment experienced by the participants, relates more to how willing and, or creative a person chooses to be when taking advantage of the benefits it can provide. If you are looking for a vigorous, emotionless sex session, then you can experiment with a variety of positions including this one, according to your individual style. If you are looking for a position that allows you to feel close to your lover, then this might be a good one to you.

How do you do it?

Missionary is an excellent position for beginners to work on.

Missionary position can be a very simple and easy position to perform. It is accomplished by having the male lie on top of the female. Typically the female will put her legs around him, lift them in the air or do something else. In this set up the male can easily thrust into the woman. When you think of sex, odds are this is the position that you think of.

What does he do?

This can be a fairly tiring position for the male. Begin by climbing on top of the woman, positioning yourself so that your penis is a little higher then it should be to enter the vagina. This will allow you to pull back a little, while still being in good position to thrust all the way into her. Consider your partner's wishes before engaging in a full thrust, especially if your penis is larger or longer than an average size. Once you are in position, find the entrance to her vagina. Depending on how well-lubricated she is, you may need to reach down and find it with your fingers first (see How To Finger A Girl). If she is really lubricated, odds are you'll be able to find it with the tip of your penis. As some women have different levels of self-lubrication, it might be a good idea to have some personal lubricant available.

Once you find the entrance and as long as you are gentle enough to suit your partner's preference and your own, gradually slide your penis in as far as it will comfortably go. How lubricated she, and how comfortable she is with your presence inside of her, will determine whether you need to take your time and do this slowly, or whether you can fully penetrate relatively easily and quickly. Once you are inside, and if your partner is comfortable with this, begin to thrust. Be sure to do this with your hips and not your feet. A common mistake made in this position is the male will push his whole body forward using his toes and knees, rather then pivoting with his hips. Using your feet can make it hard to get a good and efficient thrust. In addition, you can end up pushing your partner farther towards the end of the bed, which can be bad in the long run. Always be sure to use your hips, not your feet, you will be able to thrust a lot faster this way too, should that be comfortable.

Kissing and sucking on her breasts, particularly her nipples, can be arousing to many women and while in this position, being inside of her, it is a good opportunity to find out if she would enjoy this.

What does she do?

For some, the perception of the missionary position is that it does not leave the woman with a whole lot of choices on what to do, while it can also be true that she has a lot more to do then merely lay there. Depending on the position of her particular anatomy in relation to her partner, a woman may not need to worry as much about maintaining a good angle like she does in other positions.

The woman starts by getting her legs in a good position to be entered. The legs do not need to be left laying and unattended. For some, this can make for a terrible sexual experience, depending on the person's tastes. Instead, the woman can spread and lift her legs. By adjusting the height and orientation of her legs during sex, the woman can control in part how deep her lover can go and how much friction occurs. This is where a pillow beneath the woman's hips can come in handy for some.

If it is desirable to provide the deepest comfortable penetration, one of the most efficient leg positions is found by wrapping your legs around your partner's hips. This can allow him very deep penetration and it is important for you to provide him a guide for just how deep or shallow is comfortable for you to be penetrated. Many women enjoy this position because it allows them easy access to their clitoris. Since only a small percentage of women's orgasms are from vaginal stimulation, manual stimulation of her clitoris during sex (or otherwise) can increase the odds for some women to have an orgasm. It is also important to note, that many women achieve gratifying sexual pleasure from vaginal stimulation as well. Experiment with this and find out just what your own desires are.

It is also possible for some women to push back fairly easily in this position too. This is done by pushing back on the male when he thrusts into you. The hard part here, can be getting the timing right so that you're not pulling back while he is pushing forward, etc.

You can also find more choices of things to do if the man is not directly on his knees but laying down between your legs with more of his weight distributed along his legs instead of directly upon his knees. In this position it is useful for the man to use his hips with penetration as mentioned above. You can find access to his head, shoulders and buttocks for stroking and massaging while he is in this position. It can be possible from this position for you to caress your partner's buttocks in a way that can assist him in penetrating you or coax him into favorable patterns of thrusting. Since the partner's faces are closer when the male is not directly on his knees, kissing of his neck, mouth and shoulders can be easier to attain in this posture.

Common Problems

  • One common problem with this position is that it can be hard to maintain with partners of differing heights on a bed. This is because when the male pushes with his legs and even sometimes when he pushes with his hips, the female has a habit of sliding forward. Put this over a long enough period of time and her head will be against the head board and if he is taller then her, this will mean he can't get in as deep. Be sure to take a moment every now and then to readjust in order to avoid this.

In some instances, it helps the female to have a small pillow (sex pillow) or wedge of padded material to use and place beneath her hips. This pillow provides a lift to the vagina and some times can make access a bit easier. Please note, that with the use of the wedge, deeper penetration can be more possible, especially for men with smaller penises or women with a longer vaginal passage. With deeper penetration, make sure your partner can be comfortable with the depth of your penetration.


  • Have the woman put her legs on the mans shoulders. This angles her vagina to allow for a deeper penetration.
  • Another fun variation is to have the woman turn on her side in a semi-fetal position while the man is still penetrating her from the same position he was using for regular missionary. The woman's position constricts the vagina, making it snugger around the penis, and is also HIGHLY enjoyable for the woman.

You might also want to try...