Find a Dealer

Some people live in Jamacia, some live in California and others live in Amsterdam. For the rest of us finding pot to smoke safely can sometimes be risky and worse, unsuccessful. Here are a few ways of potentially finding that elusive girl Mary Jane ordered from least likely to work to most likely. Please note that if you are in an unfamiliar country or region finding out the legal status (just HOW illegal IS it) before proceeding is a must. This will allow you to know how much discretion you must use when speaking to others about.

Search for people in bars and clubs who are smoking pot and try to join them.

This method is suspect for a few reasons but CAN work occassionally. First, people don't always like to share their illegal contraband with strangers. Sometimes if they are hippy enough they would consider it an insult to refuse someone. However more street tough types might consider it akin to begging for money as they did indeed pay for THEIR smoke. The best way to approach this is to put your nose in the air until you actually smell some burning. Thens before you do anything you must discover the source. Most likely they are trying to be less than obvious about who is smoking it so this can be tougher than it sounds. If you are lucky enough to spot someone with either a hit in their lungs or burning ember in their hands you are 80% of the way there.

To close the deal you want to NOT be an ass about it. Do not exclaim loudly or draw any undue attention to the person thus increasing their already paranoid state. Instead, if you make eye contact smile broadly, wink and SLOWLY move towards the person. They will most likely smile back (their stoned afterall) and then you just lean in close, conspiratorial-whisper-close, NOT close-talker-I'm-invading-your-personal-space-close. This can vary depending on ambient noise (noisy club vs. quiet club) and society (Europe vs. North America). At this point you say something along the lines of "Mmmmm that smells fantastic." Half of the time if you've made it this far the person will offer you a hit or two. The other half of the time they won't and you'll have to press the issue. Say something like "Do you have enough I could maybe get in on that superhero action?" They will either decline or ascent and give you a hit. Play it cool from here and just converse naturally with them for awhile, introduce yourself. Be polite and complimentary but not a kiss ass. Then compliment the weed and ask if they have a hook up where you could "Drop some cash on a stash of your own" because you would love to return the favor.

This method is alllll about social skills, if you are a huge nerd or generally know yourself to be out of place in clubs or high-end social situations you might want to keep reading. Another good area for dealers is the "Downtown" area of your town. Look for either teenagers, people who appear to be high, hippies, and people just doing drugs right there. However if you are making contact with a dealer on a street rather than another smoker BEFORE meeting their dealer be aware your chances of merely being scammed or busted increase greatly.

Try craigslist.org

This method is of course suspect for the obvious reasons of the fact that the cops can use the Internet too. Always remember that the only reason MORE people aren't caught selling or buying is because the cops have limited time for such a violation and not because it isn't "really illegal".

Possible Search Terms:

- 420 (going to hit a lot of computers and cars too)

- Pot (cookware)

- "Mary Jane" (baby clothes)

- Marijuana (mostly going to find medical marijuana growers in California who will sell only to patients with paperwork)

It's probably more dangerous for a dealer then the buyer, but still it is exponentially more dangerous then getting it from a well-known friend. Cops generally speaking are not going to setup a sting this way though and try to nail potsmokers in the United States via this method. When cops setup a sting for drug dealing it is usually to target a specific area in the city rather than a specific crime. Do remember though that a dealer that is unwise enough to post publicly about their trade on the internet may not be the smartest person to be acquiring your smoke from. They might just be increasing their client-base temporarily this way but still, if you choose to use this person again you may want to give them a gift of a book on how to sell weed.

Obviously when you contact them you should use a newly created email account at a free service from a publicly available terminal, NOT FROM YOUR HOME OR OFFICE.

Teenagers at the Mall

If you cant find anyone actually smoking pot then go to a mall that is a little bit on the shady side but still well populated and usually outside somewhere nearby there will be a bunch of teenagers hanging around. Walk up to them and ask them if they've got any herbs and most likely if you are not in a police uniform they will either have weed or be able to direct you to the right person. This method is low risk since teenagers are not cops and as long as you look the part they won't suspect you either. If you ever scored weed while in school you'll know the kind of kids to look for. Skateboards plus less-than-new clothing are a great sign. Well groomed female teenagers and/or letterman jackets not so much. In the United States there is probably not an easier place to acquire drugs than in a major metropolitan public high school. So if you get refused its because you did something wrong.

The Local Headshop

If you find yourself in a foreign, but not too foreign, country such as Australia, the UK or other western nations you can often score without having to wait hours to get into a club with MAYBE a chance of smelling something pleasant. In Melbourne, Australia FOR EXAMPLE there is a headshop downtown called "Off Your Tree" and it has decent enough traffic. Merely browse the music and other items in the store until you see a local come in and make a purchase. Ideal purchases are scales or smoking implements, not records as much. Then wait for the person to leave and follow them out of the store. Approach them when they come to a stop and tell them immediately your name and where you are from displaying your passport. This pretty much guarantees you are not a law enforcement officer with jurisdiction. Then explain that you have waited in the store to meet someone such as themselves. They will generally be astounded at this because it doesn't happen everyday. If they purchased scales they are most likely a dealer, if a smoking implement maybe just a smoker. Either way explain you are a long way from home and would like to acquire some of the local best. Most of the time they will consider this a fantastic story to add to their life story and will be forthcoming with the goods. If they do not due to apprehension over meeting a stranger who literally lay in wait for them merely go back to the store to try again.

If no one is coming into the store for a long time leave and try again, please don't freak out the store employees by overstaying without making a purchase of any kind. Headshops are listed online on yellow pages sites under the categories of "Hempware" "Pipes & Smoking" and "Records". Be sure to get as many addresses at the start of your day in case you have to rotate amongst them. Discard this list as soon as possible (memorizing it is better) and never EVER take it through customs.

Most important is to NEVER make contact with the person while they are actually still in the headshop or another store. Wait until they are in a totally public place with many exits and plenty of space for them.

All of these methods will not work if you have a very police-like look to you. If you are in a country (like Israel or Mexico) where the law is much more strictly enforced you will need to not only differentiate yourself from the "police look" even more but also look for even more "pothead" looking targets yourself.

How to Look the Part

1. Clothing: Any clothing with a band (like Cypress Hill or Snoop Dogg) on it that is associated with pot is good to wear. Any clothing with giant pot leaves or a hat that says "Midnight Toker" on it is way too obvious and should increase rather than decrease suspicion. The idea is to make out that you are a smoker without beating people over the head with the idea. The number 420 is often associated with the "underground" and will most likely be a safe label for at least another decade. Your shoes should not be tennis shoes if you can possibly help it. Anything that says "I work out" or "I could run quickly and chase you down if I had to" tends to be the #1 mistake narcotics officers make in their dress. Well worn loafers, boots or sandals are more appropriate.

2. Hair: Crew cuts are mistrusted almost immediately and require that you heavily gel them and push it to the side at an acute angle to counteract this paramilitary look. Women should keep their hair down if at all possible anything to suggest "free spirit" over "tied back to stay out of my gun hands way" is acceptable. Adding hemp, beads or other "hippy" style attachments to the hair also helps. Finally, if you want to go over the top and prove what a REAL pothead you are dye your hair bright green. No one can mistake such a move as anything but the work of cannabis.

3. Accessories: Cellphones are good but not in sensible black holsters of any kind. Shoved in a pocket and not used unless absolutely necessary is the way to go. Wallet chains can add an air of "not a cop" to you as well if you have one, but it must be attached to a well-worn wallet to avoid the poser-factor. Piercings are a sure way to look counter-culture enough to be trusted and can even be faked with snap-ons for the purposes of scoring. Tattoos help but are obviously permanent, using temporary tattoos is not a good idea.

Ultimately you want your look to tend toward the Hippy side of the spectrum rather than the Gangsta side as it not only makes you look like a stoner but like a totally non-threatening one.